This morning I was scrolling through Linked In posts and found this quote “Sometimes it’s not about who has more talent. It’s about who is hungrier.” I would assume the author is not referring to hunger for a plate of pasta carbanara—although that does sound delicious doesn’t it?
All joking aside though– I was struck by this quote. If I apply this to my own life… I am Starving. I have a hunger inside of me that is almost indescribable. However, I will do my best to put it into words so you might understand. I have a hunger for my Life. The one that you might not see that I fight for every day that I open my eyes. I have a thirst for parts of myself that I am not sure I will ever get back. I have a hunger to walk in a room again with total confidence- I want my outsides to match my insides. I have a hunger to keep growing into this woman I haven’t met yet. I wonder what she will be like?
I want to drink in the sunlight and spit out the shadows that linger behind me. A hunger to find true joy again within myself. I welcome silliness and more laughter. I believe that we all have talent – but it’s up to us what we choose to do with it. What good is talent without the fire behind it? The hunger helps us all grow into our best selves. I had made the choice after being diagnosed that I no longer wanted to pursue mental health therapy as a profession. I let that part of myself go, and do not regret it. In essence I am now trying to create something from nothing. I may not have the X number of years to show a prospective employer, but I do have that hunger in my belly that will never cease.
In this current moment my health is stable. This is something I never take for granted. I have survived so much already and know there is more to come in my future. As time moves us all on though, I think this hunger has morphed into different things for me. At one time, I wanted a life that I no longer know anymore. Another time, I just wanted to survive and make it out alive. At this current time I want to feed my desires for more in life, whatever that may be. Many times, I have felt like I have nothing left to give, the pain gets to be too much. Time and time again we get up and fight.
A quick note regarding job rejection emails – the template always says something like “ we regret to inform you that you were not chosen at this time.”
In response to this I think the following: “I regret to inform you that I will keep going, and ultimately life tends to unfold as it should.”
Whoever might need to hear this… keep holding on my friend. You are not alone.