Do you…have a job yet?
Do you…have a relationship yet?
My answer to these questions should not determine my worth. You may think that I don’t hear the dissatisfaction in your tone of voice, but I do. You may think that I can’t see the look of disappointment in your eyes, but I do. You may think you know how I should live my life…but here’s the thing…only I do. Just because I get a job, a relationship, or am out on my own does not change who I am at my very core. From the outside it would be easy to think or say that I am not doing enough, or moving at the pace you would like. The pressure, the subtle comments that you think I don’t notice…I do. Success is subjective. My idea of success may look very different than yours but that does not mean you have the right to look down on me and think that you can tell me I am less than.
I am successful because I am alive. I am in a whole different arena than you. I was given this challenge, and it was demanded of me to go deeper. To explore parts of myself that I never knew could be there and to nourish those parts. So, you may not know where I am going or what I am doing…but I do. I am building this new pathway for myself, laying down each little grain of support beneath my two feet. Going through this very unique journey can be very lonely and isolating. We need support. We need you to listen, to lift us up. So instead of looking over in my lane to see what I am doing, please turn your focus inward, because this is what I have been doing. I am turning inward healing my bruises that I so often hide from you. Healing mentally and physically, making myself stronger for what the future may hold.
Please be kind. We go through so much more than what you may see on the surface. It is not my job to appease everyone and get a pat on the back at the end of the day. It is my job to get myself through the day and be at peace with myself.
Do I have a job yet? Yes, I volunteer my time to help other patients in multiple organizations which will some day turn into a meaningful career and also write this blog to connect with my fellow patients.
Do I have a relationship yet? Yes, I have a relationship with myself. I have been building a solid foundation… and by the way we are pretty serious!!
You are Enough.
Much Love & Support,
Sarah
Sarah you are an amazing writer! You captured my interest the second I started reading this ! I see a book in your future. Maybe it’s a compiling of all your blogs.
It is your story but yet it resonated with me and I know many others. I’m so glad I was able to read this. I love you so much. Lori.
I’m so fortunate to have such a special person like you in my life!! I love you so much too! Glad you have been keeping up on the blog posts, I love writing, not only to help heal myself but to hopefully reach my fellow warriors as well. Absolutely! I see a book in my future as well. Couldn’t do this path without you!!