Hello, Ignorance!

When thinking about life in general, I always go back to this idea of choices. Every day we have the ability to choose. Even getting out of bed in the morning is a choice. What kind of a partner do you want in your life? What career do you see yourself in? Do you drive the freeway or the side streets?  Do you choose to have a salad for dinner, or eat the 10oz. steak? An endless amount of choices that lead us all down different roads of life. This was my way of thinking along with many other blissfully ignorant people.

I had just recently turned 28 years old. I knew I wanted to help others, so I chose to work hard and was able to earn my Master’s degree in Psychology. I paved my own road, on my own terms. I chose to celebrate being done with school by taking a trip to Europe alone with some money I had saved up. When I came back from my trip I was ready to make my mark on the world right alongside all of my classmates. I was so young, eager, and excited.

I can remember the night that I got a single phone call that would change my life forever. Nothing can prepare someone for these moments. The nurse had left me a voicemail to call back as soon as possible. She had told me that my blood work had come back and that my counts were all extremely low. She then rattled off a bunch of numbers and she said she was shocked that I was still walking around. “You need to see a Hematologist Specialist right away.”

I had no clue that the bruises I had been getting in that summer of 2014 meant that something was wrong. I had thought that I just had low iron. My body was numb. My mind was slow, yet running so fast at the same time. I had so many questions; they never made it out of my mouth. My voice shook and stuttered as I asked “What does this all mean?” She calmly said “We don’t know yet, but you need to be seen right away.”

I was busy planning out my career, and blazing my own path. Everything was changed from that phone call on. When you are asked to dance, most of us are afforded the right to say “no thanks, I’d rather not.” Or you can choose to say “yes, I’d like that.” The devil came up to me and did not ask me if I would like to dance. This thing grabbed me, took its grip. It’s name was Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria (PNH) and Aplastic Anemia (AA). What now? I had wanted to take a Left onto the street named ‘starting up my career’, now in a blink, non of that mattered…..

MY LIFE: RECALCULATING…. RECALCULATING….