When eating the fruit, remember the one who planted the tree.
~Vietnamese Proverb
Thanksgiving has now come and gone, with Christmas less than four weeks away. Holiday time for many is often a time of reflection and introspection. It’s a time to pause even if just for a few moments among the hustle and bustle this time of year often brings. I found this quote and wanted to share it with you. As many of us know who are living with a chronic illness, this can be a lonely road. I continually feel cast outward fighting up the stream of life and this can be very exhausting both mentally and physically. I often feel without, as my peers steer their ships far off into the distance. Too often I ask myself why am I the one to be faced with this seemingly impossible challenge? Yes, these are heavy questions often on the minds of myself and others like me.
I am taking this opportunity to stop and remember the one who planted the tree in my story. Some days I can hardly breathe because of the weight I carry. The interesting thing about life though is that each day we can have the chance to start something new. What if this something new is to pause and be grateful that we opened our eyes today. Maybe you build a leaf on the tree you have worked so hard to create from absolutely nothing. Maybe you take the time to heal today after a mental or physical storm that happened yesterday. What is it that you need today? You have the choice to decide everyday in even the smallest of ways.
I am often surrounded by other’s opinions of what I should be. How I should talk or act. I too often have kept quiet about my illness to make others feel more at ease around me. This voice needs to be heard. As long as I fit in this little box and don’t make any waves, everything is smooth sailing on the surface. By appeasing someone else, we shrink our authenticity and our voices to fit within another’s expectations. By listening to ourselves and voicing our needs we are taking the time to nourish the tree we have created into existence.
We have the ability to create our own support systems. We can choose to pick up what or who serves us, and leave the things that do not. Our relationship with ourselves is the longest relationship we will ever be in. I am a firm believer in we accept what/who we allow into our lives. As that little voice inside of you grows, you will more clearly be able to see what serves you in this moment. I have great gratitude for those who have helped lift me up and slowly water my little tree. The little droplets have given me strength on those days I feel I can’t go on. I bend a little more towards the sunlight, and a little less into the shade.